Monday, February 7, 2011

Some thoughts on adoption

With her permission, I am cutting and pasting Bethany's post from Our Perfectly Imperfect Life. Enjoy.

Adoption. It's been on my mind lately.

{Addison came home from Russia in November 2008 ... read more about it here}

I'm sort of going out on a limb when I say this, but I have never been a fan of preaching adoption. There are some in this wonderful world of ours who believe that is it everyone's duty to adopt. I get that ... I get that the bible says that is what we should do.

{Sofia came home from Ukraine in June 2010 ... read more about it here}

Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27

{Alina came home from Ukraine in April 2010 ... read more about it here}

And I'm really going out on a limb when I say this, but I also do not believe that everyone has what it takes to adopt. Yet, I do believe that everyone has what it takes to help protect an orphan.

{Evangeline came home from Ukraine in August 2009 ... read more about it here}

He blesses those who provide for the orphan. ~Deuteronomy 14:29

{Jacob came home from Ukraine in June 2009 ... read more about it here}

Adopting a child is a very exciting thing ... saving innocence from danger. Adopting a child is also a very rewarding thing ... but it is really hard too. Really hard. Once the excitement of the adoption wears off, you have a child on your hands. A child that you do not know ... and a child that does not know you.

{John David came home from Ukraine in November 2010 ... read more about it here}

My friend Leah said it well, as she waited to bring her son home ...

We don't expect that Axel is going to get off that plane, walk into our home and be a smiley, giggly boy who can hardly wait to get on with life.

When parenting [step children], you do not love them right away, and they do not love you. Sometimes it takes years before you feel honest "love" toward them. You care about them! And you nurture them! But that is very different than a mother/child love bond, or a father/child love bond. It just really depends upon the chemistry between you and the child. Sometimes it is there, and sometimes it is not. I think that people are surprised when they bring a child into their home and that bond is not automatic, or in their eyes takes way too long to develop. Sometimes you love the child long before the child loves you in return. Sometimes it is the other way around.

Part of the reason this bond is different is because an older child comes with other people's habits. You didn't get to develop these habits, and they can be very annoying to you as a parent. It can be very difficult to not blame the child for these habits that they had established since they were small and suddenly you want them to change and do things your way.

{Reese came home from Ukraine in March 2009 ... read more about it here}

Very wise words ... if I do say so myself. Eventually the hurdles fade into the past ... and a time comes that life isn't so much about bonding and attachment ... but simply living life. The rewards are grand and they only get so much sweeter.


These babies? They are waiting to come home. They are waiting to make life grand for their new family ... how can you help?

:: Cox family, adopting Kareen ... donate here ... iPad raffle ends 2.5.11

:: Patti, raising money for three orphans ... Pure Love giveaway ends 2.10.11

:: Senti family, adopting Ember ... donate here ... Gucci watch raffle ends 2.12.11

:: Dickinson family, adopting Masha ... iPad raffle ends 2.25.11

:: Filmore family, adopting Anya ... donate here {court date: 2.22.11}

:: Davis family, adopting Kirill ... donate here {court date: 3.17.11}

:: Higbie family, adopting Lera and ... donate here

:: House family, adopting Martin ... donate here

:: Sader family, adopting Melanie ... donate here

:: Dirkes family, adopting Charlotte ... donate here

:: Maddex family, adopting Danil ... donate here

:: Smith family, adopting Yana ... donate here

Adoptive families ... I know there are so many of you out there. If you would like to be included in this post, please email me at with your info.

PS ... isn't it funny that never once in this post did I mention Down syndrome? That was not intentional ... it just isn't relevant. Well, it is relevant in that the future of babes with Down syndrome in other countries is horrid. That is why we need to get them home.

PPS ... and yeah, all of the beautiful babes in this post have Down syndrome. Oh, you already knew that? Ha.

Update: Adding in other great adoption fundraisers ... outside of the Down syndrome community ...

:: Johnson family, adopting Kasidi ... Canon Rebel T1i raffle ends 2.7.11

:: Lori and family ... adopting Elijah and Isaiah ... gift card raffle ends 2.16.11

:: Hurley family ... adopting AJ and Jenna Elizabeth ... iPad raffle ends 3.5.11

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